Is He Making You Happy?

"Forget about him and his good qualities. Even forget about his bad ones. Forget about all his excuses and what he promises. Ask yourself one question only: Is he making you happy?"

The above quote came from the book "he's just not that into you: your daily wake-up call" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, and is the inspiration for this post. Is he making you happy?

It's so easy to make excuses for a person, especially if you're really attached to them. I myself have made excuses for people in the past, focusing on their good qualities and the fact that I was attached to them. But in the end, I had to sit and think whether or not they were really making me happy.


Just because someone has good qualities does not necessarily mean that you should make excuses for them when they have let you down. "Maybe he just forgot about me" or "maybe his parents didn't want him to go out tonight and he didn't have time to call me" or even "The plans weren't official" were things I said quite often during my teen years. I didn't realize it then, but now I know that I was just making excuses for the guys because I was attached to them.

Sometimes, you just can't help but be attracted to a person that you know isn't right. Yesterday, I blogged about my ex-friend T, and how our relationship ended because of his unwillingness to commit. I always had a feeling T wasn't right for me, but he had so many good qualities that I was blind to the fact that I really wasn't happy around him. I was acting happy.

In the end, like the quote says, you have to forget the person's qualities, good and bad, forget their excuses and promises, and just ask yourself whether or not you are truly happy with the person. If the answer is yes, then great. If the answer is no, then you know what to do. In my experience, it is far better to be single and truly happy than to be in a relationship and acting like you're happy if you're truly not.